tomorrow I'll do better

Tomorrow I'll do better, tomorrow I'll do better. The more I repeat it, the more hollow it sounds. Is it a motivational way to look at things, in that let's keep raising the bar kind of way, or just an excuse, an exercise in self-delusion? I know exactly what I am, and I'm definitely in the latter category. Failing miserably at developing a good work ethic, something moving here and starting an MBA was supposed to fix.

Just had a horrible weekend - completed and submitted my first midterm of grad school. It was a paper for our Analysis of Business Problems course, a case about a Canadian mining contractor. Intense, the things I've picked up on in 4 weeks of class, but I still feel so behind. And while I'm getting better at it, the productivity just isn't picking up. Good study habits just isn't happening. Deep breathe, incremental steps, we can do this ...

Those aren't the real ones. Let me show you the real ones. So said my teammate from Girona about the pimientos de Padrón I was hyperventilating about. So when he went back home, he brought me back a bag of the real stuff. Same intense green colour, slightly longer and pointier than the ones I pick up at La Boqueria. But the real surprise was in the mouth. There's a famous saying that Os pementos de Padrón, uns pican e outros non, Galician for Padrón peppers, some are hot and some are not. Well, these were definitely spicy. An explosion of chili spice, a white hot burn that ends just as quickly as it begins. Leaves your palate smoking, and with that heavy salt, wanting more. I've gotten quite good at frying these, especially compared to my first time. You roast them in the pan over a medium heat in good olive oil, making sure they don't blacken. At the first sign that the skin is wrinkling, you take them off the heat - the residual heat will continue withering the skin, whilst leaving the flesh intact and fragrant.

It's all a balance here. Of flavour, of texture, of academics, career, and life. Tomorrow I'll do better. 

DF

keep on the sunny side

It's been exactly 2 months since I moved to Barcelona. Two months of new experiences, new people, new city, new life. And it's been a trip. Been feeling the pressure, school is really starting to put the squeeze on now. And today, after a really, really tough week (combined 20 hours or so of sleep over the last 4 days), I feel destroyed. A good time for a reminder that we have to be good and take care of ourselves.

Another weekend of shellfish last Saturday, probably the last weekend in a long while that I can do this. La Boqueria is wonderful for the heart ... not so much for the wallet. Starting with plump, fleshy mussels, singing of the sea ...

... and although the sardines weren't top quality, a good bite of fish ...

... before I was in absolute paradise with my berberechos ...

... and my first taste of these tiny shrimp, reminding me of the tiny lake shrimps I love eating in Shanghai, stuffed full of roe ...

... before ending with navajas and little 'snails of the sea', flash fried with green onion, ginger, and black bean sauce. A taste of home when I desperately needed it. Will have tonight to recover, get back some sleep. But tomorrow and the rest of this weekend, back to work ... a midterm paper due on Monday, with the rest of the midterms to follow in just over a week. No complaints, no moaning. Let's get to work.

Oh, the storm and its fury broke today /

Crushing hopes that we cherish so dear /

Clouds and storms will in time pass away /

The sun again will shine bright and clear.

- Ada Blenkhorn, Keep on the Sunny Side (1899)

DF

all the way up

The mighty Castellers de Vilafranca. Has it already been that long since La Mercè? This schedule they have us on has already turned me inside out. Barely sleeping, haven't shaved for 10 days, trying hard to still eat and exercise properly ... and that's just the simple stuff. Yes, classes have been rough, if only because I'm starting at such a basic level. But what's bugging me, and I know it's bad, is that my productivity has yet to get there. I'm lacking focus, lacking urgency, lacking something. So we take some inspiration from the castellers. One at a time, a hand, a foot, a shoulder. A steady, determined climb to the top.

DF

Canadian Thanksgiving

We're a small group. But we're a tight group. Celebrating Canadian Thanksgiving. Coming here, I never thought much of my home. But more and more, I realize how wonderful, how perfect Canada is. We indeed sang the national anthem tonight. My peeps, coming together. We're all from such different backgrounds, but we're all Canadian and that means so much, being out here all alone. Happy Thanksgiving!

DF

Mario Monti at IESE

This past Monday evening, I was privileged to attend a session titled 'The Future of Europe and its Influence in a Global World', marking the 50th anniversary of Ermenegildo Zegna in Barcelona. The session featured the CEO of Zegna Group, Gildo Zegna, and the keynote speaker was Professor Mario Monti, former Italian Prime Minister and European Commissioner. Left inspired, and although it was a long day after the career forum, heady with ideas.

What will our contributions be after our 2 years here? Will it be in public service? Will it be in developing countries? Or will we fulfill the worst stereotypes of business schools and think of nothing but self-interest, remaining dull and uninspired? I don't know what my contributions will be, but I've been thinking about it much more lately. It's been a long week, and yes, we're all screaming for sleep - I'm tucked in already on a Friday night - but we have to think about these things because we don't have much time here and it's so, so easy to get back into our old habits, our old mindsets again. We learn and change through osmosis, definitely, but we also have to make a dedicated conscious effort at it too ... we cannot simply pay lip service to 'self improvement and development'. And as Professor Monti and Mr. Zegna expressed, there is much hope for the future. That's all we need to change the world right ... inspiration and hope.

Europe needs to care more about soft power

DF

we are not chefs; a bite and a reflection

You can see it in our eyes. In our shuffling gait. Hunched backs, sagging arms. We're all dead tired. That hellish first MBA term? We're now fully living it. 4-5 hours of sleep a night, and as scary as it is, I'm actually getting used to it. Unimaginable to a guy who used to sleep 9 hours a night.

/// Starting with pan con tomate ...

So there's no point in complaining about it. Everyone's default answer now to 'how are you, how's it going' is 'I'm soooo tired.' But we asked for this, didn't we. We asked for all of it. No complaints here, because this is what I should be doing, what's the best thing for me. And with today's new full-time MBA programme rankings released by The Economist, all that has been validated, and then some. IESE has jumped in rank to 5th globally, and 1st in Europe. That's on top of Harvard, Stanford, NYU, and Columbia. Take from it what you will, but I'm in the right place.

/// and continuing with my love, los pimientos de Padrón ...

Work is getting tougher. A lot more complex, more analytical. But my grad school experience so far has been amazing. Fantastic marketing lecture today, with lots of theory, but most importantly, grounded in real world practice. Learning from some great professors (and classmates).

/// I've never thought much of calamari, but this is so fresh the flesh squeaks in your mouth ...

We just finished two days of our first Career Forum. Lots of things to think about, and although it's been really tough having to think and plan for career goals this early on, it's absolutely critical to keep thinking about what we're going to do after the MBA. Because like it or not, we all have to go back to reality after these 2 years.

/// gambas a la plancha, all the soup and magic in the head ...

Signed up for IESE's marketing trek to London at the end of the month. Yes it will be expensive. Yes it will be a lot of work. But it's what I signed up for. For a shot to go around to Europe's best cities, to see different things, to see how things are run here. When else will I get this opportunity? So, we tighten up the belt, put the wine glasses away, and start looking for cheap flights.

/// pulpo á feira for the first time. Poached octopus in the Galician tradition, seasoned with salt, olive oil, and pemento picante ... 

So, taking a moment before bed, I want you, dear reader, to think about something. Is the term 'chef' used appropriately anymore? Is it not the most abused word used to describe anything culinary-related? Anyone who can tell the difference between a spatula and a large spoon is instantly branded a chef nowadays, without a thought as to what the word really means.

/// sepia a la plancha, all firm and delicate, simply exquisite ... 

And no, I'm not deriding those who love to cook (and eat). I'm simply suggesting that maybe we ought to think of another word in description. Because the word 'chef' should be reserved for those who truly deserve the title, those who actually run kitchens and have shed vital bodily fluids in pursuit of the perfection of this noble craft. We are not chefs. We simply love to eat, and want to devote our free time to learning all we can about it.

/// gambas poached in olive oil and garlic. 'Be careful it's hot', he said. 'Don't worry', I replied ... 'I have thick skin' ...

I hate the word 'expert'. We show an interest in something, we have a burning fire for something ... but we are not experts. No, yet again, that word should be reserved for something higher. Maybe it's just a matter of words. But words are important - if you cannot say what you mean, you will never mean what you say. Who said that?

/// rib-eye of veal, seared. They eat a lot of veal here. And truth be told, I'm getting a little weary of it all. It's beef, but so unsatisfying. Never thought I would crave good, honest, American corn-fed beef from Costco so bad ...

Late. So a final thought. Living in Barcelona, as much as I complain about how things work here, how expensive things are, how inconvenient it all is - living here has been a dream come true. I need to cherish this time, because damn, it's mid-October already. Time goes by quickly - 19 months isn't all that long. I've felt a change in my demeanour, in how I process things already. I'm taking all this self-development/improvement thing very seriously. So good night all ... thanks to my friends for your words of encouragement, for all the love.

/// and they eat a lot of foie gras here. Simply called 'foie'. Sliced far too thin, a disinterested, uninspired thing on the plate ...

/// ending with a dessert that reminds that the Catalans have a lot of French in them. A Catalan twist on the crème brûlée, the crema catalana. Sweet and inviting, a good way to end the meal ...
- Taller de Tapas, C/ Argenteria, 51 

DF

tapas?

It's a lifestyle, after all. Tapas, that is. A little plate of this, a little plate of that. Never really filling you, never really satisfying in a way that a big, proper meal can. But it does have its charms, its pleasures. A little fling if you will, a flirtation. A lingering kiss, before she disappears into the night.

The Career Forum kicked off today at IESE. A mad scrum for consulting and banking presentations. They tell you not to fall into the trap of 'banking fever' - that is, applying to banking/consulting just because that's what everyone's doing. So I'm not. Team meeting in the morning, before I went to C/Mallorca to pick up my NIE card. And finally, finally, now that I have all my documentation ... I'm settled in Spain. Dam, I'm pretty much a local now. Quick nap at home (and of all times, our idiot neighbours decide to practice piano, badly, at noon), before heading back to school to catch some industry presentations and take part in the Career Fair. Attended a fantastic IESE alumni event tonight. The school invited former Italian Prime Minister, Mario Monti, and CEO of Ermenegildo Zegna, Gildo Zegna, to share their insights on the topic 'The Future of Europe and its Influence in a Global World.' Fascinating to hear the insights of a man who was instrumental in shaping Italy's economic policies, and who has first-hand knowledge of the role that Germany has played in Europe's economic recovery. Overall, a tone of optimism for the future, as well as support for the steadying hand of Germany. Feeling privileged to have attended, the exact kind of event I was hoping for when I decided on this school. Excellent.

We try and do the best we can with what we have. No more, no less. And so although we experience things here that are new, that are unfamiliar, and that aren't altogether comfortable, we plow through because these experiences will make us better people. And if you can't find pleasure or meaning in a plate of berberechos a la plancha ... I feel bad for you son, I got 99 problems but tapas ain't one.

DF

Slow Barcelona

Gabriel is a true artist. A Mombasa gin tonic, he muddles cinnamon sticks into the gin for a subtle fragrance and spice, finishing off with an orange zest to bring it to life. By far my favourite place in Barcelona ... yet.

DF

home?

Home? Home is such a fluid notion, this idea that we're modern, mobile people, out to explore the world and shouldn't be rooted to any one place ...

... but a little part of me is still back in Toronto, still with my family and friends, loved ones ...

... and I've learned, more than ever now, that MY notion of home revolves around food - the food of my childhood, the food of my family, the food of my memories and dreams.

So until we're back home again, we remain thankful for the opportunities in front of us here in this spectacular city, this spectacular school. And we make some egg fried rice with a dollop of chili sauce, to keep us warm in the meantime.

DF

seafood a La Boqueria

The Mercat de Sant Josep de la Boqueria is most often thought as a tourist destination, and it is ... but ask the locals, and they'll tell you that La Boqueria is where they do most of their grocery shopping. Walk past the juice vendors and you'll see - once they stop speaking English, you're in the right part of the market.

A few weeks ago, I made a trip out. I desperately wanted shellfish, and to cook a meal that reminded me of home.

So I found 3 varieties of clams, including these stunning berberechos from Galicia.

And ending with gambas rojas. You handle everything the same way - leeks tossed in olive oil, white wine to steam, careful with the sea salt. You simply let each shellfish express what he is. And with a (few) glasses of Penedès rosado, you savour the marriage of flavours that bring that tired adage to life - indeed, what grows together, goes together.

DF

having a drink in Barcelona

I feel, what, dazed? Shell-shocked? Turned inside out? Today was a rough day in class. I knew the learning curve was going to be steep, I knew that not really having an aptitude for mathematics was going to catch up to me ... just didn't expect it to happen on the 4th day of school. They don't mess around here - this isn't undergrad anymore, clearly. A younger, more idiotic me would have just said to hell with it, let's get a drink. But we can't do that now, can we, despite how great this city is for that ...

... whether it's a quick glass of a local Catalonian white with seared Iberian ham and pork ...

... or a glass of a wonderfully simple, fresh, and vibrant rosé from Penedès ...

... this town is full of the pleasures of the vine. And of course, those generous (is that the right way to put it?) pours of gin ...

... to Chinese restaurants that serve animal feed, although TsingTao is always reliable ...

... to the sublime experiences in dark and quiet bars, where all parts of the drink share the stage and come together in a perfect harmony. A city that celebrates and exalts the pleasures of the glass and the table.

DF

los pimientos de Padròn

A little plate of peppers, grilled quickly in olive oil and liberally seasoned with coarse sea salt. That's all it took to send this wino into hysterics, all red-faced and panting about the find. Coming here, I was looking forward to the clams, the shrimp, the fish, the ham ... all those wonderful things that make this country a gastronomic paradise. But we've all heard of berberechos, gambas, langostines, jamón ibérico ... the excitement is more in the anticipation of actually eating them, rather than the discovery. These though, these were totally unexpected. Innocuous little green peppers, reminding me why, as in wine, the simple, humble things sometimes bring us the greatest pleasure and excitement.

I've had them in restaurants, I've cooked them at the flat, I've pretty much tried to eat my body weight in them. They come from the village of Padròn, in Galicia, and only about 15,000 kilograms are harvested every year from June to September. There's a famous saying - Os pementos de Padrón, uns pican e outros non (Galician for 'Padròn peppers, some are hot and some are not'). Most tend to be sweeter, and depending on your tastes, even the spicy ones aren't that spicy. But they have all that fragrant pepper aroma, that wonderful texture, that indescribably delicious taste that the coarse flakes of salt bring out. The best thing I've found in Barcelona thus far, and that's taking into account wine as well. Well, this and gin tonics.

Friday night, we had a school event. Each team had to dress up according to a theme and do a pubcrawl - 4 bars, each with a different drinking game that we had to complete. Our theme was 'bands you no longer listen to', so we went the obvious route - KISS - facepaint and all. A fun night, and needless to say, things got debauched and out of hand real fast. Real fast. But it was great to bond with the team, relax after a stressful first week of classes. And let's just say that after Friday night, I'm on a new level of familiarity with Avinguda Diagonal ...

DF

maintaining some perspective in front of these high and mighty walls

I officially started my MBA studies today ...

... and it was rough.

... I didn't really understand the cases, or even how to adequately prepare for them ...

... and many of the concepts being discussed by the class left my head spinning.

But as these ancient stone walls can attest to, moments of self-doubt and anxiety pass. What makes them mighty and ever-lasting is the maintenance of perspective amidst the maelstrom, sucking in life and limb. I've risked so much to be here, sacrificed and worked hard to earn my place. All our starting points may be different, and they should be - we're all working for different things, different goals, different purposes. The MBA is what you make of it, and while work ethic is an undoubted must, we can't lose sight of why we're here. These high and mighty walls are still standing not because of whim but because of a sense of purpose. I'm being nonsensical now, aren't I. It's been a long day and I thought I'd be able to go to sleep earlier but I'm stuck in the mud in accounting already. May tomorrow be a good day, and may the weekend arrive soon.

Photos: Catedral de la Santa Cruz y Santa Eulalia, Barcelona

DF

The first day of school

Here we go. The first day of school tomorrow. Quite possibly the last first day of school I'll ever have again. Will my professors like me? Will I like my classmates? Will I understand the material? Will I make any friends? And what exactly do I wear? Here I am, in a foreign country, don't really speak the language, with all my friends on the other side of the Atlantic. Yet I feel like this is exactly where I need to be. We'll deal with things as they come, we'll do the best with what we have. Let's go get it.

DF